i'm still writing stuff down in my joe book. here are some of the things i've written:
the guy who wrote elements of style says that oscar wilde once said "we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
van gogh is reported (by the guy who wrote an article about him in our school's issue of national geographic) to have said "my youth is gone. not my love of life or my energy, but the time one feels so lighthearted or carefree."
i recently wrote: "this job is like being strapped to a tractor tire during the most beautiful sunset ever. half of the time you are looking at the beautiful sky, happy, dirty, and close to the clouds and salt of the earth people who make the world great, and the other half you are face down in dirt while a tractor drives over you."
it is like this. see what i mean:
i've been weaseling in on another teacher's music classes. i've promised to teach the kids some american songs, but for now they sing african songs in beautiful harmonies while they sit and read science books or close their eyes. i sit and listen, read or shut, and just love it. so the last time i taught this class, i left to get some textbooks for students who'd just trickled in to school (students often wait to come to school until their parents scrape together the money for their school fees). as i walked back to class both of the other teachers had their entire classes lined up to receive corporal punishment and were hitting their hands with sticks, in time to the music.
we decided to buy a goat, grill it, and sell it to the local farmers after the auction. money flows like spilled water around these auctions, and we were confident our school's troubled finances could be improved. one of the teachers, the caretaker, and her friend took the day off work and grilled and sold. there was much rejoicing when the money was counted at almost N$400, and we'd spent only N$130 to buy the goat. we decided the next day to go ahead and add up all the expenses, just to know exactly how well we did. they were the $130 goat, $40 for goat spices, $40 for flour etc to make bread (to sell) and some tea, milk, and sugar (for the member of parliament who used to be principle of our school to drink), $80 for the oranges and chips that we bought to sell with the goat, and $250 for gasoline that went in to the principal's car because he 'drove to town to buy the oranges.' it costs $100 in gas to drive to town and back. it is, as you can imagine, distasteful for me to see a well off official of the school putting its money in his pocket, but that person is also one of the most supportive of the other teachers and my best bet for a ride to town when i get sick.
sometimes it seems like people just don't have much motivation. they finish school, or don't, and just stay at home and share the food that their grandmother buys with her pension or that a working member of the family buys. then you meet people like my friends lisa and lincoln, and they're going up north to work on railroad tracks, without pay, so that they'll have something to do. also, the caretaker at our school isn't getting paid. he just keeps coming to work. he says that if there was a job to do for money he'd be glad to take it, but he's not going to sit around and do nothing.
i told you before that it was difficult to be continually asked for food and things. that really generalizes. for every one thing i can do, someone can point out ten things they would like me to do that i haven't. i can look around the town and see the failure of hand outs. aid money lies in abandoned buildings and junked vehicles all over the place, but most of it just blows through town like the sand. but still, having a full pantry and wallet seems like i'm doing half the job. so, anyway, i was really glad when the ministry of education brought us a refrigerator. i thought, i can cool water and give it away, and it will be free for me and nice for everyone. it turns out that if you want to see some 'lord of the flies' stuff, all you need to do is put a pitcher of cold water down in the middle of 10 or so kids. so, i took all of my roommate's empty soda bottles and filled them with water and made them cold. then i gave each kid their own bottle. other than administering a few bumps to each others' heads' with the bottles (which 'the gods must be crazy' had prepared me for) it went ok. but, (and everyone but me knew exactly this was going to happen) the next day people were coming from town to get free cold water, and didn't mind waking me up in the night or anything else to ask for it. so, unfortunately, now the cold water is on a 'if i feel like it and i usually don't feel like it' basis. i'm hoping to institute some kind of math homework for cold water or scheduled cold water or something, but now it is what it is.
when the boys and girls play games together, they like to have distinct, clearly-defined roles. so, when we play frisbee the girls line up in the middle between two rows of boys that are facing each other. the boys through the frisbee hard and fast straight at the girls. the girls are supposed to scream and get out of the way, or catch the frisbee, or be hit by it and start crying. they then give the frisbee to the other boys who repeat the process.
we also play soccer sometimes, although i have a math homework policy to use my soccer ball, and most days it doesn't go out. one night we did play it was little boys and jon against the big boys. imagine how much i loved that. now, imagine how much more i loved it when we played the defense forward, aggressive, and were winning. some things caught up to us, but it was a really good time. i often think "if these kids had more food, they'd be good runners and if they had more food and a ball, they'd be great soccer players."
so, life really has things that are worth being a part of and things that i wish i didn't know about. maybe the best things are the more ho-hum ones, though. like, for example, maybe half the kids in my school can do long multiplication and division now, and 90% of them can use a times table. when school started we were at maybe 10 and 30%, so some good progress has been made. some kids are really excited that they learned something they didn't understand before and others don't like me for making them work on stuff that they've already decided to ignore.
last, but not least, in the way of news.... i've spent most of the last week in windhoek. i think something spider or big mean flyish bit me on my lip. it got black and blue in a 3/4" diameter around the sore, then my lip swelled up enough that i could look down and see it. i couldn't even nearly close my mouth, and it was a little sensitive. i thought i would tough it out and teach when it first happened, and the swollen lip rubbing on my teeth made some sores on the inside. it was pretty ugly. so i came to town, started taking antibiotics and painkillers, and applying creams, rinses, pastes, and various other treatments, and it is better. i've used the time to plan some lessons and read some books, so it hasn't been wasted, but i'm sure my students will be wound up when i get back and we'll spend a little time getting calmed down so we can work again. this is how things happen. i'm going to be a more flexible person when i come back from this.
thanks to everyone who has written. it is really nice to hear from you. take care, jon
